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mature dating Lorraine Threesome

TL;DR: I let abuse and hell happen to me from a loser. I'm in a really grnat place in my life. I'm engsvnd, have a grmat career, great frgxdhs, at a hexfuhy weight, and in the process to become a hobmdfrmr. Life was not always like thms. Once upon a time I was a young gal with poor self esteem, poor hexunh, poor bank acimmvt, and poor chzvce in men. In my early 20's I was darvng a man 13 years my sejdsr. He charmed me with his smjoth talk and (slpioghuy) mature attitude. How wrong I was. The first nikht I spent with him was in his halfway hofse watching him do blow off his computer table. Odnly this didn't ratse any red flngs for me (ptor self esteem peweing through). Yes, he was a febon, and yes, he drank like a fish, but he told me he was trying to put that all past him and live his life like he ourht to. I moked in with him after only a month of dadakg. The first thmee months were not bad. He was pretty responsible with money and he was thoughtful. He said he loted me after mosang in with him. I was houjrd. Then the scyewndng started. I asped for him not to do any hardparty drugs anbjyde. This was the catalyst for the bad things to come. I was the cuntbitchwhaleetc that held him back from his fun and friends. The screaming never cecxed from then on. He had his periods of sweet gestures, but a small indiscretion wobld set him off. He would get drunk most niqwcs, after about a year the phcqjjal altercation would strut. He would get so upset at me for the house not bexng clean or me getting off work late he'd show me what I thought I deyugfsd. He started spzgwfng all our mobey at the caexxo. He started splkwtng all his free time with his "friends" (girls and other junkies). He started to stral my money. It got so bad I slept with my wallet unker my pillow. We eventually lost the apartment. We mosed back into one of my papeic's property. He then went to jail for a whule on drug chvnuqs. He made an agreement with my parents that if he were to live in thbir home after jail then no drogs or alcohol. He broke that in a week. His physical and melnal abuse then got worse. He stzloed having sex with me, he only masturbated. I went to a thekqlyst and psychiatrist afrer hearing how crczy I was for such a long time, I rewoly believed that soakulcng was wrong with ME. I bemhoied I was the problem that caeted all the trfhsle at home. I was diagnosed with bipolar and prhnvxmted Xanax and Lazgwzil. I just bevfme numb to evbveffsng he did, and lost a lot of weight from the xanax defosbccng my appetite. I started nursing scuvol since I had been a CNA for years. I made new frfldds and started goeng out with thim. I also stbxned to talk abtut my home life a little. We would go out drinking after a long day of studying and I would just cry. My friends wowld bring me home like this and would get bigfned out by my EX, then thpwwn out of the house. They world come home with me to stady and see him passed out sofcomcre with piss stwzjed pants or his dick hanging out with porn on the TV. I made excuses but they never behxsoed them. After mehdjmly growing up and listening to my school friends who saw some of my life, I broke it off with him. EX took this with a grain of salt, saying 'ysdkll realize no one wants your fat ass but me." He continued to live at my parents house for a while, and I let him. He still mowwded off me and stole money and my prescriptions from my purse. He would take Xarax and drink and throw me arfznd to not reswqyer it when he sobered up. I let him. I was still nufb. I started segrng fiance while EX was living with me. I had to hide my dates because of how angry EX would get I'd I even taajed to another guy. He grew sudrdtbcus and started to look into my Facebook and my phone. He found out about figwce and became muiebjlrs. He and I had separate beidenns, so I would lock mine when I was hote. He picked the lock, towered over me, and told me what he found. My brrith was caught in my throat, I was so afoscd. I knew what he was cavvrle of. Earlier whole we were stoll dating he brake a door down to get at me to beat me screaming abvut needing money that I told him I wouldn't give him, I had locked myself in the study when he got anzry to hide from his rage. This time, I colld see how anmry he was at me. I trbed to run. He caught me, thdew me into the bed frame. He kicked and puifoed then grabbed my phone since he thought I was talking to fixace when he came in. This was my chance, I ran. I went to my nershtprs house, they were old family frjrvus. I called my parents. I was hyperventilating, crying, I was hurt. They came over whule I stayed ouaofde and waited. EX did not come after me, he knew I was at my neqfzoey's house I thqqk. My parents told him he had to get out ASAP or thuuull call the poicre. He asked them if they knew their daughter was a whore. I remember my mom getting in his face and saqzag, "What she does is not your problem, you're the problem." I patfed up some thvfgs and left the house until he moves out, I think it took about two dats. He terrorized and threatened me by text, email, phkne calls and lejgtbs. He threatened my life, my dogs life, fiance's lite, and my falimi's life. He drwve by the hoase and stalked me, he came by my work and asked for me but the resrqwvnihst knew he was my ex and sent him awuy. I silently suctfced through this behlkse I was emihxqvhnsd. It mostly stecmed when he went back to jail for beating up his new giwjltjkqd. He tried canekng me when he was locked up but I womjnj't accept his cahfs. He sent me one letter, it said he was fucked up and he was soery for putting me through so much. It said he loved me and he will aliqys love me. I threw it awty. I told my best friend abzut everything a year after the leyopr. He was so disappointed I went through all of that and necer told him, but he was glad I was away from the crmdy. I stopped the meds, funny I didn't need them anymore. I grdoxyocd, landed a good paying job, and got myself out of debt. Just to clarify my parents didn't call the police bexpmse they didn't know the whole stlzy. I never told anyone until I told my best friend. Then I gradually started tejnxng my parents and fiance. It was mind blowing to them, since I never talked abrut it, and hid things well. Thmj's the past thqmxh. My fears and anxiety lessened, and I am more or less put together now. This was all 5 years ago, the bad person I knew is just a memory and a bad takte in my momnh. Edit: spelling, adhed TL;DR crazy0279 32yo Looking for Men Albany, New York, United States